You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
