are you still at the devil's house?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize