Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
