i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize