btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
