I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
