I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
