question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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