he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think i have two assholes
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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