He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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