Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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