Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
