Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
