ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
