should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize