..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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