dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
