I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
