can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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