I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
