Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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