i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
