i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
