I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
