you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
