the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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