honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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