Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
