im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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