drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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