Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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