You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
