It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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