I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think my tv is drunk
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
