dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
