Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
