Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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