Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize