I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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