So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
