I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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