I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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