toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
