my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
