When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize