wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
