Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
