I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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