If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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