so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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