we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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