Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
