As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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