We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize