You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
