Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
