i may or may not be watching the land before time
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
