I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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