I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize