The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
