Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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