i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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