Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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