From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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