just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
