That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
