3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
