he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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