margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
