Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
