When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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