so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
