ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
