He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
