You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
