never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
