So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
