Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
