Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
