So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i dont even know how to be here
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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