I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
