I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
