Moan for me like Helen Keller
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
