I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
