If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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